I didn’t write this, below, I’m just cleaning out my Notes tonight. Below is a verbatim transcription of a voice message I found on my phone from a strange number some time last year. There’s a cellular array on a water tower out back and for a while there the signals were amped up, jumbled up and overlapping, interference and voices and noise from other calls cutting through on all of mine. Coincidentally or not I had an excruciating headache during this time period of 5 days or so. It felt like someone set my frontal lobes on fire, like they had lesions. I don’t know if anyone really believed me about the severity of the pain, or the nonsense of correlating microwaves, or that it was not just a migraine, not even the doctors, when I tried to explain how it felt; as though my brain was being microwaved like a bag of frozen vegetables. But that’s just how it felt. Maybe it was a very rare (as in, one-off, I hope) manic episode or something with a side of brainfire, and it’s unrealistic that we would ever be able to turn off the cell towers just see how it would feel to have a clean & clear atmosphere for the delicate central nervous system to exist in, but if I were king the first thing I’d do is a wonderful favor for every living thing and declare a national analog holiday, like analog Fridays or something, when the internet is closed for the day and the microwave towers turned off for 24 hours. And we could all breathe freely and give our CNS a respite from assault and barrage. It was a bad week for me during an exceptionally horrific year for my country, even without those days of the amplified/scrambled/interference/crossed-up and painful cell service. It’s like the towers were beaming headaches and broadcasting pure confusion. (And I pay a hefty monthly fee for the headache and confusion even if I don’t need it or use it. It’s a mad mad world after all.)
Butt Dialed
“Read I’ve been….Can’t wait….Tell me a joke….No Hi Yeah….Ice cream
Yes Yes He said Yes….That No….He was talking to somebody…. Her
her ….She likes to go ….To go No Kentucky fried ….I know you’re watching
that Yep….We went to Perkins yesterday….After church….And then she got
Send it
They made a purchase on her phone
Yeah….Call Jerry….Hi times….and….I didn’t even know the word I forget
Talk
You better hurry up …. because he George…. Yeah, ….he ate Hello Hello
Much Florida…. I guess he gave up his Arizona….She has a ranch
What are you mind right ?….Through the needle…. And I don’t wanna
But I can’t I can’t get it….I finally got them ….I’m keeping thread …. And thread ….And you can’t
Yes …. Cutting the bobbin thread …. What happens is?….The man man
And then it goes In here….Like this….Clicks ….Right….Usually, you just push it in
and it It’s not …. It’s in …. I finally had the needle….OK…. I’ll try it again
Hello
No ….shut that ….Made OK …. No…. It No Much longer ….. …No
Have a good week ….No ….That is pretty…. I thought that was the right Yes Yes Finish
Or more than I need
Reject some of my miserable Stretching Sherry
said she…. tried to iron it…”